My Favorite Irishman

    My favorite Irishman that I met was our bus driver/tour guide to Blarney. His name was Alan. He gave me insight to how goofy and quirky Irish people are. He also showed me that they display a great amount of road rage (which I was also told by several other people as well). He was a very funny guy! He sand and whistled to every song on the radio, it was rather amazing. He would add his own flare to the sounds by making very strange noises. He has a comment about everything, or so it seemed. He would also talk to people we drove by, or honk his horn at them. Here are some of the things that he said on our way to Blarney, Cobh, and Cork:

• "Go on you donkey, will you!"
• In reference to a woman walking along the street in a neon stripped maxi dress.... "God that's strong. Somebody give me sunglasses. That's visual pollution!"
• Rather than saying 'oh sh*t,' he would say "oh, pants!"
• "You spastic" in reference to people who cannot drive.
• "Let's make like a shepherd and get the flock out of here."
• "You old geriatric fart, get off your camel back."
• "Hey you with the head. You'd look funny without it." (at least four times)
• He sang "Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness, Guinness Guinness Guinness Guinness, Guinness! to the Batman theme.
  
• He also sang, "McDonald, McDonald. Kentucky Fried Chicken and a pizza" every time we passed a McDonald's. He said that it is a song by Lost Ketchup. I was fortunate enough to record him singing this.
  
• As if to justify himself, he would often say, "Don't have to be mad, but it definitely helps."
  

The strange thing was, Alaine and I are the only people on the bus that noticed him do these things...