Sunday, December 1, 2013

SAS Talent Show

The SAS talent show welcomes performances from students, faculty, dependent children, and life-long learners. This year's talent show had performances from all four categories of people, which was great. The talent show lasted approximately two hours, with a quick intermission. Some of the dependent children played a song on the piano, performed a yoga dance, and jump-roped. We have the country's number three ranked jump roper on the ship, and she performed as well. Here are some more examples of what we saw this year:

A (Bad) Semester at Sea Love Poem

 

Night falls at sea.

The ship churns

through water ink black,

with purpose and direction.

It’s late.

Snack time is way over.

Just hours ago games were being won

and lost, clumps of cheering jeering,

pony tails and baseball caps,

latte slurping, pajamas, and

fuzzy slippers, flirtations, and

bravado, laughter, a few sad sighs,

and in the corner, desperate sentence

makers punctuate the air

with fevered

click click, click, click, click,

Oh my god it’s due

in the morning,

like artillery,

click click click click click,

international perspective this

and expanding world view that,

the contemporary world of today

that we live in now---

click click click click, click.

 

But all that urgency is now over.

All have now pushed ‘save”

and folded screens like giant clams---

The games have been lost and won.

The room is empty.

Successful hook ups,

abortive hook ups,

no hook ups---

all have gone down.

We have all gone down for the night,

except for the man at the snack bar,

solitary, stoic, handsome, dark,

with epaulettes on his blue sweater,

keeping silent vigil 

over Reese’s Cups and Hershey bars

and Skittles,

standing guard over the expresso

machine, an altar to the God

of caffeine, whose name we take in vain

each time our lips touch grey plastic.

 

In our cabins down below,  

we are horizontal,

movies looping at our feet,

over and over again, movies with

no ostensible plot, no beginning

and no end.

One by one,

we have fallen into our beds,

our small little beds,

our cots---let’s call them what they are,

our cots with preternaturally tight sheets,

that grab our fins.

We line up like sardines

from Lisboa,

one by one,

crank the key

to the tin can,

and peel back the thin metal roof,

careful not to slice your hand,

whoever you might be---

and you would see

The silver fish of Semester at Sea.

 

Here the metaphor fails.

She stops dead in her tracks.

She flounders.

No, no, no, the professor rails,  

you cannot introduce a flounder into the sea

when the poem is about sardines--

Don’t you see? 

And that clunky clam in the first stanza,

a computer clam, now what is that?

And by the way, fish have no tracks---

not to mention the metaphor’s

more salient flaw---saline and salient:

The fish in your tin can

are neither dead,

nor on the menu.

Well, not much is on the menu.

 

Still she has some traction,

even without fish tracks---

this metaphor.

She’s right:

We do all line up

at night at sea

like silent silver fish in a tin can,

asleep, each of us churning

through our own water

ink black,

perhaps with purpose and direction

like the ship who holds us all.

Perhaps not.

Dreams have their own secret maps,

their own system of navigation.

 

But on a ship, on this ship

quarters are tight.

Our dreams have no place to go.

Dreams of the young and

dreams of the old.

The heat of loves remembered

and of loves hoped for

seep out through the cracks

of fireproof doors

and into the hallways

where they mix and mingle

with each other,

fear and sorrow too

wind around the corners,

making tendrils on

the stainless steel railing,

and creeping up the stairs,

wispy braids of

dreamstuff curling up the poles

In Tymitz Square,

forming low clouds on deck seven,

pale nimbi of memories

of things forgotten

and things to come.

We sleep together

on Semester at Sea.

We dream together

on Semester at Sea.

Crew, children, students, professors, family members

life-long learners—who have I forgotten---

The dreaming silver fish

of Semester at Sea.

 

Wait, the professor sputters

her furious phdful sput,

you can’t do that.

She circles words, she scrawls:

fish and braided dreams do not swim

together, rhetorically speaking.

She spills blood upon your poem,

in the thrall of a mandate,

dare I say—an illusion--of how things

ought to be.

 

To her I say, a poem is a noble thing---

even a bad one.

A poem means you have something

inside you that can’t stay behind

the sternum, and things

that can’t stay behind the sternum

are good for the world.

They push out with passion

and confidence and love---

and that’s what this is---

a love poem

for all of those I sleep with

for all of those I dream with

on Semester at Sea.

 

Louise Harmon/Fall 2013 Semester at Sea
(She is my Global Ethics and Philosophy of Human Nature professor)



MC SAS and the SAS Attackers Song

 

Oh my God Katrina

Look at that ship

It is so big

It looks like one of those learning cruise ships

But who understands those SASers

They only talked to us because they want to be cultured okay

I mean their group is just so big

I can’t believe they’re all around and like out there

Look.. most of them look like students

 

I live on a ship and I cannot lie

You other SASers can’t deny

When a SASer walks in with a purse around their waist

And a camera in your face. you say cheese

No pictures please

In some countries

Unless you got

Durham, Rubles  pounds

Euros dominate this town

 

Oh baby I want to come with ya

But my luggage won’t fit ya

Dr. Dave he tried to warn me

But these free condoms got me so horny

 

Damn Schuchardt family

You got so many kids

So use these

Use these

Cause you don’t need no more groupies

 

SASers be drinking

Security drunk tanking

In Russia, Spain, but Morocco gave us stomach pain

 

I’m tired of this cuisine

Is pasta the only thing?

Take an average SASer and ask them what they want

They want to bring food back

 

So SASers

(YEAH)

SASers

(YEAH)

Does the ship got what you need? (hell yeah)

Tell them keep cruising

Cruising

Cruising fall 13

 

We lay around

And get burnt

On the 7th deck we just cant help ourselves

Cause it’s a study day

So here’s my schedule

I wanna sleep till 2

But ERRRR double-up ERRR ERRRR

 

I aint talkin bout rita’s voice

But these muster drill things got me annoyed

I got a paper for class due

So ill smoke ten cigs with puddles

Man im in trouble

Gotta skip class real subtle

 

Ill just keep watchin these foreign videos

While yall keep watching game of thrones

This loop got my education flow going

 

A word to the sick crew members

I just wanna thank ya

For being so patient,

But I just gotta say…

I wanna STEER till the break of dawn

Jeremy got it goin on

But he probably wont like this song

 

Dean nick just thinks hes funny

Dean kathy’s been to space

But they’re smart

And they’re strong

And they make us all get along

 

So teachers (yeah)

Teachers (yeah)

Does the lounge get real crazy? (hell yeah)

Go up

Get a drink

And sneak it back down to me

SEMESTER AT SEA!

 


The RDs sang a version of the 12 Days of Christmas:
One drag queen for a dean
Two astronauts
Three lifeboat drills (NO COSTUMES!)
Four continents
Five overpriced drinks
Six channels playing
Seven Schuchardt children
Eight seas of students
Nine ladies tanning
Ten cabins searches
Eleven bald women
Twelve types of pasta




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